Anxiety Over New Opportunities

Recently I was fortunate enough to become Paylocity's first Principal Designer. I'm so excited about this, but also finding that I’m rather anxious. And when I realized that I felt anxious, I also realized that I was embarrassed and maybe even a little ashamed about that anxiety. For that reason I was hesitant to write about it, but on a deeper level that’s also how I knew I probably should write about it.

I recognize these feelings of anxiety and the ensuing shame over the anxiety. When I think back, I can remember that every time I've started a new role or job, I've felt self-doubt and wondered whether I was deserving, or if I could live up to the new title. In the past my gut response to this particular brand of pressure has been to double my efforts. Do more, try to be in more places at once. Experience tells me that’s not wise or sustainable, but there’s something about being faced with new challenges that triggers a less wise part of me, and makes me feel like I need to work harder to compensate.

I wonder if there are other people who feel the same way when confronted with new responsibilities and expectations. If so, I wonder why they feel that way? One idea I have is that “promotion anxiety” comes about because promotion threatens the person’s sense of self. On the day before you get promoted, you might identify as someone who is totally competent and on top of their game. The second you get promoted, the measuring stick moves and suddenly you feel like you might not be so competent anymore. This creates a conflict with yester-you, and you forget a little bit about who you are.

When the panic subsides, I’m able to access a wiser version of myself that is capable of assessing the facts of the situation. This version of me knows that I was hired or promoted for a reason, and that as a baseline I just need to keep doing the things got me to this place. There might be different responsibilities and expectations in the new role, but my true self-concept is more resilient than that, and can’t be upset so easily by external forces.